This Saturday, the forces of darkness are gathering.

Blimey, that’s bit dramatic, isn’t it? Like a cinema trailer. Anyway, yes, it’s dramatic, but it’s also true. In north west London, in Munich. Whilst the eyes of the football watching world will be on Chelsea’s second attempt to land the biggest prize in club football, Sam Allardyce will be attempting to take West Ham back to the Premier League at the first attempt. Like I said, forces of darkness.

And in both cases, I’m torn. My best mate from university, Mike, a man I love and respect, is a West Ham fan. I’d be happy for him if the Hammers got promoted, but, big Sam back in the Premier League? Please God, no. My mum, as I think I’ve mentioned before, is a Chelsea fan. But, obviously, that’s not why I’m conflicted this morning. And, as we contemplate who we’d prefer to join us in the Champions League, I’m reminded of a Bill Hicks joke. Something about how some of his friends think pro lifers are annoying idiots, other friends think they (pro lifers) are evil fucks.

I said earlier in the week that I don’t want Chelsea to win the Champions League and that still holds, I don’t think anyone in England apart from Chelsea fans- and particularly vindictive Gooners- want Chelsea to win tonight. But I have a delicious image in my head of Spurs fans sitting in front of a match they don’t really want to watch sweating up their replica Bayern Munich shirts as the match unfolds. I also have an image of Lampard lifting the European Cup (surely EBJT* wouldn’t be so thick? What? Oh) and Daniel Levy sat in front of his massive, wall mounted, flatscreen TV, mobile phone in hand sitting there in shock. Like the helicopter pilot at the end of Seven, “Somebody… somebody call somebody” A head in the box. The European Cup in Chelsea hands.

No, it can not be. I don’t want that, even as funny as it would be to see Spurs out of the Champions League when we were told they were nailed on for the top three just a couple of months ago. Especially as they showed themselves quite ill equipped to handle the twin stresses of a league and Champions League campaign a couple of years back. Also, Chelsea out of the Champions League? Hilarious. To be honest though, I’m just glad we can sit and watch it (or not watch it if we don’t want to), safe in the knowledge that, whatever happens, we’ve done our job and have nothing to worry about.

What? Oh.

I know I’m not the first person to say this, but there really is no point in worrying about whether Robin van Persie decides to leave Arsenal or not. And, at this stage, it’s obvious that whatever information is out there, nobody really knows what is going to happen just yet. The media consensus here, as ever, is pointing to an Arsenal armageddon with the Guardian reporting that Manchester City are preparing to offer Robin over £250k per week. Money that Arsenal will not be able to get close to matching. Arsenal have banned Robin from talking to the media whilst at the Euro’s, which seems reminiscent of a similar move with Cesc last summer. And yet. Yet, reports from the Netherlands suggest that Robin is happy at Arsenal and would be prepared to stay, if Arsenal go out and spend money on some quality reinforcements.

For all the money the new champions have spent, they were seconds away from winning sod all. Perhaps that proves that, if we go and spend some money wisely, have some belief in ourselves, we might actually give ourselves a chance of winning something again. And it’s something the Arsenal board need to think about now. Yes, we just finished third. I’m happy that we did so, but it can’t be ignored that we finished third largely because Spurs and Chelsea collapsed and Liverpool are shit. We were miles away from the Manchester clubs. Although both of our performances against City suggested they weren’t so far ahead of us, United certainly made us look… well, we all know how they made us look.

I got letters from Arsenal yesterday, regarding membership renewals. Jo, having been able to get on the membership scheme before me, is now a silver member. I don’t equate this jump up the list to anything other than yet another ultimately unsuccessful season at the Arsenal. I don’t think, for example, Jo would now be a Silver member had Robin van Persie lifted the Premier League trophy last weekend- nice dream, hey? I’m (I think) about 2,000 people behind her, so I’ll be interested to see how long it takes me to join her on that exalted (and pretty fucking expensive) level of membership.

Right, I got nothing else for today. Let’s sit back and enjoy the annoying evil idiot fucks all stressing to the point of spontaneous combustion tonight.

 

*EBJT- England’s Brave John Terry, but doesn’t “EBJT” look ever so much like the word “eejit?” Apt, I think.

Ever since Wednesday morning, when Robin van Persie met with the club to discuss his future with us, speculation into what went on at that meeting has gone into overdrive, and many people who are far more informed than I, have given their views on what will happen next. I have no idea what RvP is thinking right now, but by going through the issues at hand here, I hope to show you that it’s not as clear cut a situation as it appears.

Robin van Persie is nearly 29 years old and next year will be the last year of his contract. He’s just completed a season that established him as the one of the premier strikers in world football and his market value will never be higher than it is now. The next contract he signs will probably be his last chance to sign a “big-money” deal. (I hate that phrase in football, as any contract in the Premier League is big money in the real world. But you know what I mean.) So it makes sense to evaluate all options available to you before making a decision, right?

The word “loyalty” gets thrown around like a dog’s bone when it’s used in a footballing context, and it’s no different here. Arsenal fans are constantly claiming that van Persie should show “loyalty” to the club that helped develop him into the player he is. Really? It’s too easy to just say that because we pay a player a ton of money that he should be thankful for it, but football is a profession just like any other, and when someone who is good at their job is coming up to the end of their contact with a company, surely it’s prudent of them to make sure that they get rewarded for their output, whether it’s at their current workplace or somewhere else, right?

We say we want our players to show “loyalty” but in reality it’s only the good players that we want to stay. Imagine if Almunia or Squillaci asked the club to show “loyalty” to them and give them a new deal? We’d be foaming from the mouth at the supposed “arrogance” from them in expecting us to reward them for nothing, yet we expect van Persie to show us loyalty in the same position. We’re more than happy to see the club kick Chamakh and Park to the curb, but when a player chooses to leave on his own accord, he’s a “traitor”.

Those two positions are totally incompatible, but it’s how a football fan processes information. Everything that leads to giving us an advantage is given a positive spin and everything that affects us negatively is the worst moral crime in the history of football. You don’t believe me?

• Cesc Fabregas – Our captain decides that after eight years away, he wants to go back home to play for his home-town club that he had played for until he was 16, and to play for his idol, Pep Guardiola. Arsenal talk him out of it once before but can’t do it a second time. And because the only club he could ever contemplate leaving Arsenal for is Barca, there’s no bidding war for him, which limits his market value. All of that is reasonable, but because it affects Arsenal negatively, we label him a traitor.

• Lukas Podolski – Just finished a season at his home-town club as top scorer, but they still ended up getting relegated. If he showed the same sort of “loyalty” that we expect of our players, then he should stay at FC Koln and help them get back into the top flight, right? Buffon, Del Piero and Nedved stayed at Juventus when they got demoted from Serie A, but because Podolski is coming HERE, then we don’t care about “loyalty”, we’re just glad that he left to come play for us.

See what I mean? “Loyalty” is a misnomer and shouldn’t be given as a reason for a player to stay, as we expect the exact opposite behaviour when we want a player to come play for us. So I’m not expecting any acts of “loyalty” from van Persie, and you shouldn’t either. All we can do is go through the variables of the situation rationally and draw a conclusion. So let’s do that…..

1. Money – No matter what way the numbers get presented, the fact of the matter is this; he could get a lot more money elsewhere. We could probably go as far as 4 years/£150,000 a week with a £5m signing on bonus. Not exactly chicken feed, but Man City could easily add another £100,000 a week to that. In the real world, the difference between £150k a week and £250k a week seem negligible, but this could be van Persie’s last big payday for the rest of his life. If he wants to provide the same quality of life that his family has now for a long period of time, then he need to fully maximise his earnings now, whilst the opportunity to do so is there. So if you were him, wouldn’t it make sense to send your agent out to other clubs and get an idea of what you could earn elsewhere, so that if you decide to stay at Arsenal, at least you know you’re being paid like your market value suggests you should be?
2. Ambition – Again, the advantage is in van Persie’s corner. The list of clubs that would want to sign van Persie isn’t a group of clubs that aren’t competing, it’s the cream of Europe that wants his services. It’s the Barca’s, the Madrid’s, the Juve’s and, yes, the Man City’s that want him. So no matter where he plays next year, he’s going to be competing for trophies.
3. Ego – This is where Arsenal have their biggest hold over van Persie. We’ve seen this season that Robin loves being captain. Dutch players tend to be more confident than others, almost to the point that it comes across as arrogance. Dennis’ greatest asset wasn’t his unbelievable technique, it was his supreme confidence in it. He knew he was better than you, and he had no qualms in showing you how. Robin is of the same ilk (Remember his little tiff with fellow Dutchman Tim Krul at the Emirates this year? All game long, Krul was letting Robin know that he was losing. When Arsenal took the lead in injury time, Robin was only too glad to inform Krul of what the scoreboard said.) and he enjoys being “The Man”. If he leaves Arsenal, he leaves being “The Man” behind him too. He’ll be just another face at Man City or Juve and he’d be Messi’s Plan B at Barca or Ronaldo and Jose’s sideshow at Madrid.

So what do I think will happen? I think he’ll stay. I think reason no.3 is far more important to van Persie than either 1 or 2 is, but we’ll need to address both of them to totally convince him. The most important thing is that if van Persie decides to leave, then we act quickly on it. Our mistake last year wasn’t in selling Cesc, it was waiting two months to replace him adequetly. That can’t happen again. If van Persie wants out, then we should sell him as soon as possible and bring in a replacement of sufficient quality so that his output isn’t missed. We’ve already got Podolski, are we worse off with Podolski and Falcao than we were this year with van Persie and Chamakh/Park? Hardly.

So until we hear for certain on whether van Persie is staying or not, let’s just plan for his departure anyway and hope that we don’t have to implement that same plan. Arsenal is bigger than any player, so whoever is the world-class centre-forward playing for us is irrelevant, just as long as we have one. That’s far more important than anybody’s “loyalty”.

The blog that would like to congratulate Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain on his call up to the England squad for Euro 2012….

Yes, folks it’s official. In a meteoric rise from League One to the Champions League in the space of months, the boy we all refer to as the Ox will be going to his first (of many) senior international tournaments this summer. As a result, he will miss out on being selected for Stuart Pearce’s Olympics squad. I say miss out, I’m sure he’s not too worried about it. Though I did hear that “Psycho” has torn a few walls down at FA HQ in light of this latest development. Lest we get too worried about our young tyro being surrounded by the dinosaurs of the England team that come from Chelsea, United, Liverpool et al, I should note that Theo Walcott is also in the squad, so he will at least have someone to talk to. And that Theo is a veteran of the Southampton-Arsenal-England route.

I suppose there may be some fear that Alex will be subjected to the experience that Walcott had in 2006. Theo was, you will remember, taken to the World Cup and sat on his arse, unused and derided by the senior players, until we were, inevitably, eliminated on penalties. I guess there’s a few differences here. I don’t know how ready the Ox is for international football, but his performances against both Milan and the game changing one against Manchester United suggest that he is not fazed by the big stage. Let’s face it, there’s a school of thought amongst most Arsenal fans that says Alex is already a better player than Theo. In my opinion, he has a few more strings to his bow and, unlike Theo in 2006, has already made an impact in his time with us. Not that England should be relying on an 18 year old to carry them through anyway.

In other news, well… there isn’t really any other news. I guess the only thing that will be concerning Arsenal fans this summer, aside from any interest we have in the Euros, is fresh signatures on contracts. And one signature in particular. I refer, of course, to club captain, Golden Boot winner, rescuer of small children and double Footballer of the Year, Robin van Persie. At this stage, nobody appears to know, with one year left on his contract what the Dutchman is going to do. But his wife has said that the family are happy in London, his dad has said that Robin should stay at Arsenal and the man himself seems happy enough in north London. It’s a world away, in my view, from the Fabregas situation we went through over the last couple of summers. Cesc had clearly had enough of us all, I don’t see that in Robin.

I know that he gave the ominous “whatever happens I love this club” quote on Sunday, but I don’t think the hottest property in world football at the moment, with a year left on his contract, is just going to commit himself to us without some assurances. Why should he? We all want assurances that Arsenal are actually going to try and compete this summer, rather than treading water. I suppose Robin might also want assurances that he is going to be paid according to his standing in the game. The only difference is that Robin, if he doesn’t get those assurances, will be free to go wherever he wants in a year’s time, whereas we are stuck with the Arsenal come hell or high water.

Suffice to say that I think we should give Robin whatever he wants- within reason, of course. And, as we don’t have to worry about the will we/won’t we qualify for the CL proper this summer, we shouldn’t fuck about when it comes to acquiring our transfer targets (I’m assuming we have some) this summer.

Yeah, we all know Robin could write his own check if he went to Manchester City, or possibly somewhere else, but then he’s just be another cog in a machine. Here, he is the main man and he has thrived on becoming that; 59 goals in the last season and a half- nearly half of his 132 total goals for the club-tells you so. At ths rate, Ian Wright’s 185 goals for Arsenal certainly looks like an acheivable target, and even Thierry’s 228 stands as a possible, if unlikely, target. I think you can see the argument I’m making here. At least, I hope you can, because it’s really very simple.

Why go elsewhere just to be another brick in the wall, when you can stay here and have your own wall, become the legend you deserve to be?

And breeeeeeeeeeeathe…

I take it that, by now, we have all got over the events of Sunday afternoon? I don’t know if you are aware, but I never watch matches on a stream, so I didn’t watch this one. Even though the immediate future of Arsenal Football Club rested on it. As it happens, despite being terrified by the consequences of Arsenal failing to beat West Brom on Sunday, I was fairly confident we’d come through. But, really, for no other reason that, by the law of averages, we were due to win a game sooner rather than later.

That confidence notwithstanding, as I wasn’t watching the game but am currently training for a 10k run, I took myself off for a long run and then a not quite as long bath. By the time I had emerged from the bath, 1-0 to the Arsenal had become 2-1 to West Brom had become 2-2 at half time. I started following our progress via Twitter, before deciding that the sensible thing to do was watch the Manchester City- QPR match and get any updates that way. Well, I’d barely been watching 5 minutes when news of Koscielny’s, as it turned out, winning goal came through. And, despite fearing a visit from the Ghost of Failures Past, the City match was entertaining enough (understatement alert) to keep me distracted.

Ironically, in injury time of the West Brom match, came a”Failures Past” kind of moment, Billy Jones in on goal and with a clear shot at it. Kieran Gibbs produced a brilliant block tackle and the chance was gone. No heart breaking penalty award, no deflection over a helpless Szczesny, just a corner.

 Speaking of Szczesny, can I just take a moment to applaud the goalkeeper who has had some very difficult moments this season? I can? Thanks. As bad as Manuel Almunia was at times, and he was very, very bad, he never conceded 8 goals for us. But Szczesny did. He has also, variously; been left exposed by his defence, beaten by own goals, stranded (as I alluded to above) by luckless deflections and he’s even made some mistakes. But he’s never hidden, he’s shown strength of character to come into the team and command his penalty area. He saved a penalty at Liverpool- enough to make him a legend in my eyes- and has played through the final weeks of the season with an injury. He’s done so without complaint and I think has shown more than enough to suggest he can dominate penalty areas in north London and beyond for years to come.

Which is, perhaps, more than can be said for Marton Fulop at the other end, although I’m sure he’ll always be welcome in an N5 boozer! Certainly culpable when his brain fade presented Yossi Benayoun with open goal to mark his final game in an Arsenal shirt, I think criticism of him for being beaten by Santos long range effort is a touch harsh. A touch, I said. Criticism of his punch to Koscielny for our third goal would certainly not be harsh, but then I’m not a West Brom, or a Spurs fan, so I won’t bother. To see Arsene and Roy Hodgson sharing a joke at the final whistle, having sat through Fulop’s comedy of errors, might give conspiracy theorists cause for pause. But then, that famous dodgy lasagna from 2006 turned out just to be a viral thing, didn’t it?

So, we have secured Champions League football next season and done it the hard way. It makes a refreshing change for us not to have go through 3 hours of qualification, so I’m dead chuffed the boys have managed that. Especially if you think about where they’ve come from this season; reporters asking Arsene about relegation in September, Spurs fan crowing “Mind the gap” in late February. Now those very same Spurs fans, not us, will have to sweat through the Champions League final this weekend, praying that Bayern Munich can stop a Chelsea side whose name, unfortunately, seems to be inscribed on the trophy already. I guess it’s win- win for us. I really don’t want Chelsea to become the first London club to win the Champions League, but if they do, then at least there will the consolation of knowing how much more upset Spurs will be. And, boy, will they be upset.

I think the key thing we have to take from this campaign, into the summer, is that this was not a season anyone will remember too fondly. And that the mistakes made last summer, the brinkmanship that saw us rebuilding waaaay too late, must not be repeated, because we only just got away with it this year. If you call finishing 3rd getting “away with it”. Podolski is all over the official webite today and that’s a good start, but his signing can not be a reason for us to delay further reinforcements. And we all know we need them.

We can talk about that later. For now, I’d like just like to recall some of the highlights, and there were some even in this most farcicial of seasons- we don’t need to talk about the lowlights. In no particular order, then…

1) John Terry flat on his face as Robin van Persie races away to score the winning goal of an enthralling derby.

2) The emergence of the Ox. £12m for a League One player? Madness! we cried. His early performances, particularly against Milan and the now deposed English champions suggest that perhaps Arsene does still know something.

3) I’ve always said that Bac Sagna’s goal against Spurs was the moment I knew we’d be alright, but van Persie’s goal in that game was something else. So was the second half. The beginning of the end for Spurs chances of finishing above us.

4) Thierry Henry’s goal against Leeds. The one gainst Sunderland was more important, but the look on his face after this one… wow.

5) Pat Rice clearly afraid for his life as he is bounced up and down in front of the travelling support on Sunday. 44 years is a long time, so devoting 44 years of your life to the institution that is Arsenal tells you how much the Arsenal means to him. Thanks for everything Pat, enjoy your well earned retirement!